Six Rules for Septuagenarian Filmmakers
(Gary Jones Video with advice from local advertising experts Run Run Amuck and Tad Frugal.)
RRA: Tell me you did not just post to your Gary Jones Video Facebook page a video of a dog shaking its ass.
GWJ: I was shooting from the other end.
TF: Dogs are big in Arkansas. Haven't you ever heard of Arkansas Parks & Tourism's "Barkansas" campaign? http://arkansas.com/barkansas/
RRA: Quit pulling my leg and listen to me. Both of you. All the research dictates that you need to protect your brand as a purveyor of high-end commercial cinematography! You can't be posting crap with wet dogs.
GWJ: But a very prominent producer--who for some reason wants to remain anonymous--was paying me to film the pets at Springfest.
RRA: That's just great. People actually saw you out there? No wonder the producer wants to remain anonymous. They would be embarrassed to be associated with this!
TF: Maybe you should have shot cats. Cats are big on YouTube.
GWJ: I didn't see any cats. And do they shake water off like dogs?
RRA: Forget the home movies! You're the only one in the state who has shot 65mm IMAM film, for pete's sake. You need to get back to doing high-end stuff. Why pay big bucks for research and my consulting fee is you are going to ignore it?!?
GWJ: Wait. What "big bucks" research? I was just asking your advice...as a friend.
RRA: And I'm giving you my "friendly" rate. You want to get back into the game or not?
TF: Hold it. How can you keep your rates cheap, cheap, cheap if you're shelling out for research and consultants?
(to be continued)
After the sale of the former Jones Productions, I reached out to two erstwhile partners from the days before the 2006 detour. Run Run Amuck and Tad Frugal (pseudonyms, of course, of two well-known advertising industry insiders) had been instrumental in making Jones Productions' "Hype & Jive" the most-widely-read promotional newsletter in Arkansas. (The fact that "H&J" was the only such newsletter in the state is beside the point.) In fact, Run Run Amuck (whose non de plume was inspired by the infamous Hong Kong film producer Run Run Shaw and his brother Run Me) was so enamored of the "Hype & Jive" name that he tried to use it as the title of awful potboiler of a novel supposedly about the steamy, backroom goings-on of the Little Rock advertising world. To make a long story short, Run Run sued me. I counter-sued and the experience left us estranged for many years. After losing his lawsuit, he decamped to Nevada and found his true calling as the manager of a string of legal brothels.
Run Run was the first to email me when he got word that Jones Productions had been renamed ("rebranded" as we say in the ad biz) and quickly sold to a longstanding competitor.
RUN RUN AMUCK: Serves you right. Hope you are going to do the decent thing now and retire to your chicken farm.
GWJ: Nope. Gonna get back into the game.
RRA: Give me a break. You got snookered. What are you calling your new shop? "Blindsided Productions"? Or how about "Collateral Damage Videos and Lawnmoving Services"?
GWJ: Nope. Reclaiming "Jones Film Video", of course, for commercial work and dusting off the "SERAfilms" dba for doing video publishing.
RRA: "Video publishing"? Is that a codeword for getting into porn videos? Man, do I have some contacts in that area.
GWJ: Good gravy, no! We're talking long-form web and social network videos.
RRA: Hmmm. Well, if the agency and corporate stuff doesn't work out, get back to me.
GWJ: Actually, I AM getting back to you to see if you would like to contribute some blog writing to the "new and improved" Hype & Jive newsletter?
RRA: You're kidding, right? I'm finally making an honest living and you want me to stoop to commentary on Arko-American advertising?
GWJ: Indeed. I think you are uniquely qualified.
RRA: Are you also planning to resurrect the Groundhog Grog-a-rama? Those things were always fertile ground for tabloid fodder.
GWJ: Maybe. They were expensive, and I'm starting out with a very modest business plan.
RRA: I'll bet. Probably using your social security as start up funding.
GWJ: Well, think about it. There are still a few Old Hands out there who remember your acid tongue and biting wit.
RRA: I dunno. How much are you paying per word?
At this point, the email exchange became rather heated and inappropriate for a Millennial Audience. Stay tuned to see if Run Run Amuck comes on board. Tad Frugal, on the other hand was eager to rejoin the Hype & Jive effort.
Tad Frugal: Told you so.
GWJ: Told me what?
TF: That you should have been concentrating on cheap, cheap, cheap.
GWJ: Sometimes quality creative can be inexpensive, but it often costs serious money.
TF: Bull feathers--or is it horse feathers? Anyway, "creativity" is overrated. People want cheap, cheap, cheap.
GWJ: You've already said that. Besides, both SERAfilms and Jones Film Video are now unburdened by high overhead and will be very cost-competitive.
TF: We'll see. And I'll be glad to contribute to your waste-of-time promotional e-rag as long as you accept that I really have one thing to say.
GWJ: Yeah, yeah. "Cheap. Cheap. Cheap.
Veteran Arkansas filmmaker Gary W. Jones has announced the launch of Gary Jones Video as a video publisher of long-form web and social media content and as an independent supplier for high-end television commercials.
"These are challenging and exciting times for video production," Jones said. "There continues to be a growing demand for budget-conscious creative work that cuts through the clutter of smartphone selfies and DIY YouTube videos. Literally anyone can come up with a video these days and upload it to the internet. The challenge Gary Jones Video will help a client solve is: how do I get people to watch it?"
"We are certainly throwing our hats back into the ring for commissioned filmmaking assignments, but we are also concentrating upon investing in original content. Our first--and on-going--project is 'Arkansas Movies" stock footage Library', which will develop the state's first international stock footage library of Arkansas places and activities." Jones said that over 30 years of successful filming for such clients as the Arkansas Department of Parks and Tourism have given him the knowledge "and GPS coordinates" of every scenic, economic development, and historical site in the state worthy of being included in a stock footage library.
For more information, Jones may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org 501.766.9493.